It has recently come to my attention that, like in any social setting, there is a defined segregation in company present at a concert.  And I don't mean the dignified, ladies-wear-hats-and-lipstick kind of concert.  I mean the hipster kind of concert, mosh pit and all.  Personally, I am a huge fan of people-watching and therefore partake almost everywhere I go.  You never know who you'll notice.  A few weeks ago I went to see The Ting Tings at The Phoenix, in Toronto and, while being suffocated in a mob of screaming and sweaty youths, my eardrums being obliterated by the deafening sounds we call music, I realized that there were really only four kinds of people present.  Selon moi, here they are:


I Don`t Actually Know This Band, I`m Just Here To Drink.
I`m going to stereotype a lot in this description, but I tend to find that these people are usually girls.  Usually with long hair that they like to fling around and make you eat if you`re standing too close.  Usually underage.  I have come in contact with many of these people at every concert I`ve ever been to.  They`re obnoxious, take a lot of flash photography of them holding alcoholic beverages and DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE MUSIC.  Yet somehow they always seem to end up nearer to the stage than you..


The Genuine Granolas.
These are the people who originally wore Birkenstocks and Dr. Martens...not the people who have adapted that style because it's become mainstream.  They like art, nature and going to the concerts of obscure indie rock (etc.) bands.  They are at the concert because they actually listen to the music being played and may or may not partake in illegal practices - you all know what I'm talking about.


I Want To Get Up On Stage And Kiss The Singer- No, I Do Not Care Who I Trample On The Way.
These people are lovely to deal with.
That is all.


I Am Probably Under The Influence Of Hallucinogens.
I find that these people are probably the most 'few and far between', but there is always one.  You just have to look.  They have no sense of personal space, zero inhibitions and are completely comfortable with openly displaying their love for interpretive dance.  They are, however, extremely passionate about the music, so I'll give them that.

             Anyways, that is my classification of the general concert population.  I wonder which one you are..?  Enjoy!