RAGING MOTHER OF DANCE

                Due to the fact that I have been quite deeply involved in dance since I could talk, I am extremely familiar with dance competitions.  At the studio I previously attended and trained at, dancing competetively was something that was very important to us.  Although I no longer do so, today I would like to share with you the many joys of dance competitions - behind the scenes. 

                 As with practically all other sports, parents like to be involved and because they are living through their children, to an extent, they can become more competetive than the children themselves.  It is usually the mothers that play this role.  I guess they just enjoy the feeling of being stressed beyond belief and suffocated by the constant concentration of hairspray afloat in the air.  I will admit that it is an uncomfortable environment and predominantly revolving around jazz dancers.  As a competitor in ballet, I remember often feeling slightly out of place.  No matter what discipline of dance you compete in, however, there are certain inevitable and mandatory requirements which must be met by each competitor.  First off, false eyelashes any shorter than an inch long are deemed unacceptable.  The faces of the dancers must be caked so that under the bright lights of the stage, they look like masochistic, maniacal porcelaine dolls - or the female equivalent of Chucky.  Firetruck-red lipstick is a must.  Hair must be sleeked back with at least a pound of gell and hairspray until you could have a rock dropped on your head and not feel a thing. Ears/hair must be adorned with tacky costume jewelry.  The more the better. As far as costumes are concerned, if it's hideous, over-the-top and uncomfortable, you're all set.  

                  Something that you learn to live with in this environment is the terrifyingly intense rivalry between dance studios.  These people are SERIOUS.  If they don't win gold, life is over.  The thing about the judging system, however, is that not only is it biased, but it is also essentially meaningless.  Even if you're a weak dancer and your choreography blew, if you had a painfully cheesy smile plastered to your face, they'd at least still reward you with a bronze in your age category.  There isn't only one bronze to win though- and one silver, one gold, one platinum, etc.....even if someone else has already won a bronze, you can still win one too.  Which is absolutely ridiculous.  Let me tell you about Highland Dancing competitions.  If you so much as hesitate for a moment while dancing or turn the wrong way, you are immediately disqualified.  That is the difference between the two types.  So you could say that, by the time I started competing in ballet at these 'competitions', I was already used to something far worse -  so I found it to be quite relaxing.  In both atmospheres, something else that you become accustomed to is frequent cat-fights - between instructors, between mothers, between dancers...don't even get me started.

                  Anyways....that is my rant.  Dance competitions bewilder my mind.